There are only four tasks that make up Respectable Moe’s quest – but, as many of you will already have discovered, the length of a couple of the tasks means that it all takes at least 3 days to play in real time. So, here’s what happens once you get the message that Moe has a new suit and you can find it in your Inventory:
1. Moe’s New Suit Part 1 Once you put the suit on Moe, his quest begins (no other characters need to be free at this stage):
Moe: What’s this? A suit! And in my thin-shouldered hunch-backed Quasimodo size!
Homer: Wow Moe! When you wear it, it looks like you’re standing up straight!
Moe: That’s because I AM standing up straight. For the first time in my life I’ve got self-loathing!
Homer: You mean “self-confidence”?
Moe: Yeah, that one. I’m just so used to saying the other.
Feeling unusually good, Respectable Moe spends the next 12 hours strutting in the suit. Keep Homer and Marge free for the next part.
2. Moe’s New Suit Part 2 Homer really notices the difference in Moe:
Marge: I’m just glad to see him doing something other than leering at me from a bush.
Homer: Hey Moe! Marge and I were thinking of going out for a bite. Normally we wouldn’t invite you on account of you being unpleasant and unpresentable and… well, you, know, you. But now you’ve got that suit, we don’t mind being seen with you in public.
Moe: That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
Homer: So what do you say we grab dinner at Luigi’s?
Moe: Screw that! Let’s go someplace fancy!
Homer: Um… okay.
Moe: And we’ll get drinks and appetizers and entrees and desserts!
Homer: I don’t know…
Moe: And the whole dinner will be your treat!
Homer: Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
Moe: Too late! I already called ahead and ordered one of everything on the menu.
Now, if you already have the Gilded Truffle, you can continue with the quest. If you don’t, you’re going to have to get to it in your regular game (limited-time quests never let you jump ahead to the buildings you need). Once you have it, though, you’ll be able to send Homer, Marge and Respectable Moe to dine there for 2 hours at Homer’s expense.
3. Moe’s New Suit Part 3 Moe enjoyed himself…
Marge: You’re more than welcome Moe. It’s so nice to see you looking so slick. Is there “someone special” we don’t know about?
Moe: No. This suit can do a lot of things, but even it can’t make me attractive to dames.
Marge suggests that if Moe stopped referring to women as dames, that might help a little bit. And that it also might be an idea to clean up his bar because it looks like a pigsty.
So, Moe takes Marge’s advice and spends the next 2 days doing just that (2 days! With the task that’s part of the Rich Texan’s quest, this seems to be a something new to make shorter quests go for a little longer – and given its placement on the task list, it seems to be a permanent task!)
The conversation when the clean-up is over is one of my favorites of the game:
Moe: Yeah, but I still haven’t met anyone. Where are all the women in this town?
Homer: I hear you, buddy – it took me 15 levels to find Marge!
Moe: *sigh* It’s like I’m trapped in a world created by a bunch of writers who don’t know anything about women.
4. Moe’s New Suit Part 4 Moe is resigned to the fact that the town is short on female characters and, therefore, a potential love interest:
Moe: There’s a saying – unlucky at love, lucky at getting drunk. I’m going to distil some 15-year-old whiskey. Let’s hope it doesn’t actually take 15 years, like that growing corm at Cletus’ Farm job.
Luckily, it only takes 24 hours!
Ands that’s where Respectable Moe’s quest ends. If you’re in the US, be sure to watch Sunday night’s episode, Whiskey Business, to find out what it all means!